Jason’s Life

So after hearing of how I was painfully dumped (which I alluded to in my earlier post), a new aquantance of mine invited me to his party with the promise of many women being in attendance. Without much else to do I thought that it would help me get my mind off my “X” and maybe meet some new people. I was one of the first to arrive and thusly helped to tap the keg which basically means getting rid of a lot of beer head.

The theme of the party was Mardi Gras (in the spirit of poor New Orleans) and soon the rooms were filling with an assortment of different people. Now, as is typical of most parties, the general consent was that it was indeed a “sausage fest” with a 3:1 guy-to-girl ratio. Certainly not the most encouraging results that one could have hoped for. However, I must admit that the evening didn’t disappoint.

Midway through the evening a round of “keg stands” had started in Dave’s room which I will aptly name the “beer room”. Now with the exception of one woman, I was the oldest there and decided to show my naivety by asking… what’s a keg stand? It was then decided that noone should be a keg virgine and I was quickly forced to perform one of these drinking rituals. For those that don’t know, a keg stand is where you do a hand stand on top of a keg (with the help of a few people), and then drink as much beer as you can without spilling directly from the tap. The general time your shooting for is a slow count of 10 seconds. I’m not sure if it’s the sheer quantity of beer you drink or the blood rushing to your head, but it certainly gives you a quick beer buzz.

It was shortly after this that a few guys decided that the women had to earn their Mardi Gras necklaces. The room was quickly divided with the men on one side and the women on the other with the men jeering and attempting to get the women to show a couple of breasts. The women refused saying that they wouldn’t show unless one of the men showed their “package” to the women. One woman even went as far to say that she would strip completely naked if just one man would quickly show his “jewels” for the women. Well, a few shots later and sure enough, one of the men managed to gather up the courage to show off his pride.

Now, I can’t actually verify that this happened since as soon as the said action began, I closed my eyes shut to block out the horror that would have awaited me. However, when my eyes opened the girl had certainly begun stripping, and strip she did. Completely naked from top to bottom with her arms out prostrate to show us that she had shaved… everywhere. The other women weren’t quite as daring and said that they wouldn’t take their shirts off unless *I* or one other guy specifically showed them our family pride. While I would consider myself somewhat comfortable with my masculinity, I certainly wasn’t about to show myself off in front of a large group of guys. Especially when we’ve all been programmed to think we’re falling short thanks to all the easily available pornography that exists on the internet.

The evening died down slowly after that and ended in the “beer room” with two girls promising to make out french-style if two guys were willing to kiss. I was way too painfully sober to oblige but that didn’t stop a few of the gentlemen were well past reason to quickly peck one another on the lips. Again, I can’t say for certain since I turned my head, but shortly after that the two women had their arms wrapped around one another and were french kissing for the dwindled crowd. I left shortly after that.

Now here’s the part that I find truly messed up about that. Some of these different women claimed to have boyfriends… although most the beloved ones were non-present for the evening. I feel like the guidelines on a relationship must have stretched quite a bit because I know if I had a girlfriend, I certainly wouldn’t be comfortable with her going to a party without me and stripping down naked in front a bunch of guys, or even volunteering her breasts for the peek at another mans “jewels”. I would even find her kissing another girl somewhat of a cheat in my book.

Maybe I’m just not liberal enough, but I do consider myself a pretty trusting guy. But then again, I trusted my last girlfriend completely and she spent her time hanging out with guy friends pretty much 24-7 and then dumping me without even a chance to visit and work things out. But I won’t go into that since I promised a friend I wouldn’t use this blog to be bitter.

So is that how relationships are these days? There seemed to be a pretty high volume of “uncoupled couples” at the party on both sides of the sexes. Does the youth population have a much more liberal outtake on what’s considered a relationship? I would imagine that if this is true, it would probably stem from the high rate of divorces that seem to be prevelant in our society today. And worst of all… am I’m going to be able to find a place for the kind of relationship that I want? Maybe I should move to Boston, they seem to at least find happiness with each other.

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 24th, 2005 at 3:44 am and is filed under Parties. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.